Calling my sister crying I told her I was going to do it.
Two years in a relationship and I knew it was not right.
There were many times I felt this way but I was scared. Scared to hurt someone. Scared to be alone. Scared about what other people would think of me.
We talked about our future. Marriage.
I was comfortable with him and he knew me.
In our culture today breaking up is a chore. It is easier to settle in an unhealthy relationship then do what God is calling you to do.
I do not want to dwell on the negatives of the relationship or just how unhealthy we were emotionally, spiritually and physically. I want to celebrate the life I’ve lived in the brokenness, healing, and growth.
Here are twenty four things that I either learned or experienced because I was obedient to God twenty four months ago.
1. Living in the capital of our nation.
2. Finding a church that I loved and going consistently.
3. Independence from man. Dependence on God.
4. Growth in my friendships with girls.
5. The value of quality time with family.
6. Discovering new hobbies and passions.
7. Living in true community.
8. Triggers.
9. Dating.
10. Third-Wheeling.
11. Living with my parents as an adult for 6 weeks.
12. Traveling within the states.
13. Traveling the world.
14. Wisdom from others about healthy relationships.
15. A love for baseball
16. Feedback
17. Finding a community that loves Jesus and challenges me.
18. Heart Ache- The kind that Jesus feels.
19. Walking out of rejection,comparison and lust.
20. Worthiness in the Lord.
21. Cultures.
22. Exercise because my body is a temple. Not to seek approval from men.
23. My spiritual gifts.
24. True surrender to God.
Singleness does not have to be difficult. It does not need to be seen as negative. It can be something beautiful which I am still learning. If we look at letters from Paul it talks about this idea of marriage and those who are not married.
1st Corinthians 7:34 “…An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit….”
This is not only a fact but a command. To be fully devoted to Christ with no distractions. To see singleness as a gift and the blessings that come from it.
A pastor I was listening to said “Single people should set the pace of what full devotion to Christ looks like.”
Just think about it. To have no one but Christ. To chase after Him everyday. To hear Him say go…and actually go. To leave everything you have to serve Him fully. As a single woman I have the whole world in front of me, but I want to choose the cross daily.
I know that this must have been a reflective season in your life and this one might have been a difficult one to share because this topic perhaps leaves you vulnerable. But thank you for sharing and reminding us that in Christ, we become whole. Like you said, truly, genuinely whole: “To have no one but Christ. To chase after Him everyday. To hear Him say go…and actually go. To leave everything you have to serve Him fully.”.
I am not single (ya know.) but this post spoke out to me a lot in many ways. Thanks for sharing boo!
Powerful sharing, Brit! I hear your sentiment but please always welcome the Lord’s grace and blessings with open arms. Singleness is a gift indeed until it isn’t the one God chooses for you. Your conclusion is resonating with me on so many levels right now.
PS. I read the whole thing in your excited/passionate voice. And yes, you were all red and swinging your arms and fists, smiling (or was it laughing?!!) with a distinctive contentment and peace that could only be you.
What a wonderful testament to being content with where you are and what you have!! You are a very wise young lady! Hearing and obeying is scary. It takes us totally out of everything comfortable. I’m so thankful you chose to take that step!! The blessings are unending!!
Haha Bilal you already know that’s exactly how I wanted this to be read! I’m soo excited to see you tomorrow!!! Que the screams