“Hey do you have a minute?” The social worker asked as I entered my office in DC.
“Yeah whats up? “ I responded nonchalantly.
“She’s gone. She dropped her child off with family and left.” The social worker explains trying to put her words together.
“Wait what? Let me call her.” I frantically say.
She answers with the speaker on. Her pimp in the back ground telling her what to say.
I enter my supervisors office doing everything I can to hold back the tears.
This was my first introduction to human sex trafficking. No longer was it a distant problem in the world but something right in front of my face.
I would find myself praying for her. I would think about her at night when I was going to sleep knowing she was somewhere in the streets. I would have nightmares.
My passion to help human trafficking victims increased immensely.
Fast forward to December 8th, 2017.
As a squad we went to the oldest red light district in Bangkok, Thailand. I was beyond excited to spend my 24th birthday doing something that I was passionate about. So we prayed as a squad and were on our way.
Emily, Cait and I headed toward the ATM and then to the block where women lined up on stools with menus and prices. My heart was pounding, hands shaking and so sweaty because of what I was seeing. We went around the whole block, prayed and then discussed where we felt God was leading us.
Em explained these girls that were in white button down shirts which were the same ones I felt led to. While we were describing the girl it seemed like the same girl so we went to ask the madam of the house if we could spend time with her.
“Yeah 1,200 baht for two hours.”
I gulped as I realized what was really happening. I literally had to buy time to be with a woman. A human that our Lord and Savior created. Who is so worthy and priceless.
She went to change into jeans and her converse then we left the premises. As we asked her what she wanted to do she was so worried about what we wanted to do. Her self worth was so diminished she did not know how to be served or loved by someone else. Through out the night she would ask if we were okay, if we were having fun and if there was something else we wanted to do.
My heart broke over and over again. As I took it all in, I knew that what I was feeling was exactly how Jesus was feeling. He created this beautiful girl who is worthy and loved but she does not see it.
God then spoke to me “Brit how you feel now is how I feel when you degrade yourself. When you do not see your worth. When you do not find your identity in me.”
That was hard to take in.
We pray for some of the girls there. Speak truth into them. Leave and pray at the corner.
We walk into the hostel. Squad members that stayed back sit there cheering as we walk in. They had been praying and worshipping all night while we were out evangelizing. They prayed as each group entered into the hostel that lies just blocks away from the red light district. They pray over us. We tell our story. I go upstairs because I just need to process by myself. My squad leader calls me into her room and asks if I am okay.
The tears begin flowing because I knew I was not okay. A picture of my clients face went through my head. The pimps and johns that are searching for something that they will not find. Those girls that have dreams but are stuck in this industry. My heart is heavy and I am putting together the pieces and laying it down at the cross.
As we begin ministry tomorrow I am excited that we are working with those that have been rescued. The women that have walked away and given their life to Jesus. They are finding their identity and self-worth in Him. This gives me hope for my friends I spent Friday night with. Hope that this industry will one day not exist.
“Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your kingdoms cause”
They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.
While reminding people they are worthy, we sometimes forget the same is also true for ourselves. Thank you for this powerful sharing Brit. So grateful for you! Hope the tears washed away the remnants of uncertainty as well and that you’re more determined and enthusiastic than ever before.
I shared your tears and heartache as I read your blog.
“If only” they could understand how much they were loved.
“If only” they had the courage and strength to leave this lifestyle.
“If only”….this list could go on and on. But let’s change the “they” to “I” and understand sin is sin. There are no “levels” of sin. Your heart broke just as Jesus’ did/does every moment of every day for each of us.
Each of these women need Jesus the same as you and I. They needed to see light amidst this dark and ugly world! Thank you for having courage to jump! Seeds have been planted. Thank you for using pain from years ago and using it for good, for motivation….for life and love!!