Bitterness You Must Stay

“So what is an emotion you want to stay on the island?”

The counselor questioned as my team participated in a debrief from our month in Greece.

Bitterness.

“Wait why bitterness. I don’t need that to stay God.” I thought as I wrote it down anyway.

I wrestled more with this that night.

I feel this emotion when someone does something that hurts…I over analyze it and if it’s not confronted in a timely matter it brews in me. It stirs up to a point where bitterness turns into avoiding the situation.

So my last morning on the island I sat with God and asked him “in order to leave bitterness on the island, what situations do I need to confront?

The thing is I knew the answer. I’d been avoiding it since I got on the race in August. I had pushed it away at any opportunity because I was sick of crying and knowing I was being selfish. Teammates would tell me to forgive and confront. I told them I was not ready.

That morning God brought it up again.
“You have to talk to her or bitterness will leave this island with you.”

So that morning I messaged my best friend. When I say best friend I mean the girl who was in my Kindergarten class with a pink cast. The one who got a matching perm with me in third grade. The one who helped me through my parents divorce, was there during all the awkward stages and the one who went to every Friday night football game with me our senior year. Through college we stayed friends and now into adulthood we are celebrating new milestones.
That’s the thing though. She’s getting married while I am gone. The one I shared all the stages of life with is going to be marrying her forever and I won’t be there. I was pushing her away because I was not going to be at her wedding. I took my bitterness and stopped reaching out. Replied with short texts and never told her where I truly was at.
By the grace of God though she forgave me. I felt her love and comfort from across the world. That day there was a weight lifted off of my chest. I literally felt lighter and could not stop smiling.

I realize that bitterness is something that will take time to disappear. I think that obedience to God involves missing some of the most beautiful moments. My best friends wedding. The birth of my second niece. Life at home going on while you are thousands of miles away. My hearts at peace though because we have a God that perfectly designs paths for our lives. It’s our choice to follow.

 The Greece video will be up in the next few days of questions you had for all of us. 

I am 4,317 dollars away from being fully funded. I have a generous donor willing to match all donations for the next 10 days! That means if you donate $50 they will donate $50 etc.  Please prayerfully consider donating!!!  

6 days left to order a tshirt at https://www.bonfire.com/brittanys-world-race-fundraiser/

Made it safely to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. We start ministry in the morning!!